In the beginning there was Spirit.

He created light.

Then matter.

And a universe was born.

It was a vast cosmic dance of stars & rocks & gas & space. Mostly space.

On one amazing planet, filled with water, Spirit did something amazing: He made the planet Fertile.

Life EXPLODED. In the seas, in the land, in the air.

Spirit knew it was amazing, but had a hard time appreciating it.

So he hatched a plan to help him see the Universe with fresh eyes.

He found a super evolved ape on that fertile planet, and impregnated it’s DNA with sort A Genetic Transmitter. It allowed a tiny bit of his omnipotent Spirit consciousness to be be transmitted into every human born.

And so Spirit found himself inside the body of a human being – with complete amnesia of his divinity. Within the restrictions of “Time” he could appreciate every rock and flower. Without his omnipotence, we was able to get excited about new ideas and have adventures.

Human consciousness is the Universe’s way of experiencing itself. We are all God – playing a round of his Amnesia game.

The rules of the game are: appreciate the gift, increase the love, and follow your Joy.

But the genetic transmitter is being turned up. And the vibration of Spirit is getting louder. More and more people are waking from their amnesia. This is the Fertility 2.0. We are all pregnant with our own divine awareness. The time of gestation is up to you.

Hug Nation started out talking about “Drama.”
But it didn’t go exactly as I hoped. In fact, as I began the hug, I was thinking, “That wasn’t as I hoped, maybe I won’t archive it.” And I realized that I was totally NOT being present as I began the hug. So I stopped, re-calibrated, and then started the hug again.
It turned out to be a wonderful hug and then set the stage for a GREAT post-hug Q & A session.
For Happy Hour, I discussed Drama at Burning Man, then dealing with political differences (based on questions about NC’s gay marriage ballot measure.)

The awesome Q & A

The original Belief Buffet about drama:

Burning Man Drama:

And North Carolina Gay Marriage & politics thoughts:

TOPIC: “Yoga Thoughts” & “Tension. Release. Tension. Repeat.”
Hugnation 4/24

- NOW moment.
- I’ve been putting a lot of energy into spiritual growth and expression, but not as much into my physical development
- Part of being a human being is the gift of physical being in the world
- Yoga is not a collection of postures, that is ONE form of yoga.
- Types of Yoga http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/beginnersguide/whatisyoga.asp
- I am in no way an authority on yoga.
- beefcakey pictures on facebook.
- Yoga is a personal practice. a gift to yourself. subtle magical reminders to be present. Tuning into the experience of the now.
- The theory behind yoga resonates with exactly the things I’ve been talking about on Hugnation for years.
- Concept of a “practice”. There is no finish line for yoga, no end goal. Everyone has a practice.
- when you stop seeing your life as a process of getting places, and instead see it as a series of tasks at hand, a practice… it reduces stress anxiety.
- “life is a practice”
- the practice of yoga helps to remind us of the practice of life. life is struggle. a series of challenges we figure out.
- “obstacle” implies that something is in the way of a goal. if you change your mindset so life is a practice, there is no such thing as obstacles.
- Human consciousness is duality. God consciousness is unity. Life IS the rollercoaster.
- be present, have integrity, align with love.
- you always have a choice.
- we are characters in one another’s play.
– HUG

What is Hug Nation all About?

Lessons from Lucidity:

Public Displays of Joy:

Brodhi assured me he only listens, not watches, while driving.

If you want MP3′s only, check out itunes.hugnation.com!

What 1st Saturdays is for me.

It is a recalibration. It is a reminder of who I am and how blessed I am. It is a reminder of the kind of world I want to live in.

I am reminded to be thankful for what I have.
Thankful for the love in my life.
Thankful for the people I meet along my journey.

I am reminded that I am an integrated part of this Universe.
And that no matter how seperate I may think I am – due to my ego mind or our crazy media culture – that I am connected to everything.
If you are more Joyful, then I am more joyful.
If I am more Joyful, then the whole is more joyful.
We are all connected. And we are all on the same team.

From our cultural state of near-obscene abundance, it can feel like we are maxed out on Joy potential.
We try to get newer phones, bigger TVs and nicer cars. We strategize for more bank account security for imagined futures.
But when we remember that we are connected, even our discarded excess can bring us more joy than shiny new things – simply by sharing with someone in need.

My extra resources, like some old coats or $10 bills, can do far more to make my experience more enjoyable if I can share them with someone who could use them.

From the perspective of universal connection, It is a selfish act.
Your Joy is my Joy.

So we come together every 1st Saturday to remind ourselves that we are connected. That we are abundant. And that the world we live in is one filled with open-hearted people who help remind us of our true selves:

We are amazing creatures in a miraculous place. We are blessed beyond measure and gifted with a consciousness that rockets us out of the cyclic violence of nature into the potential of divine compassion.

We are not here to survive. We are here to Thrive. To Appreciate. To Create. And to Love.
1st Saturdays reminds me of that.
John
4/7/12

We were also live broadcasting to members in Japan, England, Canada, and across the US.

What does it mean if our imagination controls our future thoughts AND our past story?! Inspired by recent readings on the science of memory.
(second half of broadcast – after hug: http://youtu.be/SMSLJk_gKIM)

links mentioned:

http://www.radiolab.org/people/karim-nader/

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2012/02/ff_forgettingpill/all/1

http://www.jacobglass.com

http://www.thework.com

Includes:
– memory and how the brain works. 3 states of awareness. Remembering the past, being present, and imagining the future.
– Future is an imagined state. worry and you experience the pain of the future now. if you instead imagine a positive future, you have a positive now, and in fact, attract a positive future.
– imagining the past. every time we remember something, we actually rewrite that memory in our head.
– experiments with beta blockers and erasing memories
– rewriting memory from a place of peace.
– the future is the creation of our minds imagination. SO IS THE PAST.
– the way you tell your story, is the way it is. retell your story in ways that make you happy.
– if your goal is Joy and Happiness over accuracy, remember that you are a creator.
– In the Now, all is well. Be aware of the way you tell your story and imagine your future.
– the story that you tell is the experience that you have.

Thank you to everyone who came out to see the movie at the festival and online!

We will be making it available again in the future. Stay tuned!

UPDATE 4/16/12:
Here’s what happened on the April trip to Santa Barbara:
-Drove there in 2 shifts during cool days, each 2.5 hours. Kept it around 55. Kept the tank mostly full. NO PROBLEMS!

PROBLEM:
My 83 Winnebego (Chevy 454 engine) has a tough-to-diagnose problem. Possibly vapor lock.

I have additional diagnostic $$ set aside and will joyfull reward the mechanic that has the time & energy to figure it out and fix.

HISTORY:

In 2010, Hugmobile had a complete engine replacement.
Since then, it has run great…except:
It does an odd overheat thing when driven over an hour or 2 – specifically on the way to summer festivals in the heat.
Before it dies completely, it occasionally surges and feels like it is having problems delivering fuel. i.e. the gas pedal is pushed farther down but no additional power.

The dials all show no overheating issues.
Some have guessed “Vapour lock.”
When it has broken down with this problem it usually is able to re-start after cooling off for 3-5 hours. But then after driving a little while (30 min or so?), the condition happens again.

SUGGESTION #1
replace fuel line
“what you need to do it crawl under huggie and look for anywhere that the fuel line gets close to anything that would be hot.”
“We had the same problem what it was the gas line was ran to close to the manifold and the gas would vaporize when the engine got hot.”
“Look at the gas line if it is running next to the manifold that is the prob. What happen’s is the engine get’s hot not over-heating but hot like it should when the gas line get’s hot the gas will bubble and vaporize. And it will act like it is not getting any fuel and it’s not it’s getting vapors.”

“This sounds exactly like the issue I had with my Chevy, everything would be fine except in summer (I live in AZ) and would drive a while. Suddenly everything would just die, not overheated but dead. It would cool then it would run fine. We were told it was all kinds of things and it took 3 years to chase it down. It ended up being that the fuel pump had been replaced with a generic fuel pump. It just so happens the Chevy engine needs higher fuel pressure than normal, the fuel pump was fine except when it was warm and the pressure was not maintaining where it needed to be. Got a new factory not generic fuel pump… never had an issue again. So check out the fuel pump pressure.”

SUGGESTION #2

Install an inline , electric fuel pump.
“You may be able to run on your mechanical until it locks up then hit the switch for the electric one to take over .”

” electric fuel pump…….jus do it….it’ll save you headache down the road…..fifty bucks…max…….an….if it ever fails……..you’ll still have the mechanical one still pumpen………as you will leave it in place…….backup”

SUGGESTION #3
“Check your distributor cap and wires.”

A friend asked for a “no drama zone” during an upcoming weekend. The conversation that followed inspired this Belief Buffet dish.
This recording includes the intro “mindfulness moment” (until 02:00) plus some Q & A from chat after the Hug. (starts at 25:21)
Special thank you to all my courageous friends who speak (& listen) from their hearts.

This powerful broadcast started with trouble and ended in tears.
We are all perfect. And we all struggle with the roller coaster of the human experience.

A couple goes out into the wilderness and find a meadow. It is lawless and free. They have sex outside and shoot guns where they please.

Awesome friends show up. They bring more awesomeness.
Every spring, the meadow floods and washes everything away. It makes things challenging, but the awesome vibe just keeps growing. And people keep showing up.
Pretty soon, it is just too freaking dangerous to shoot guns. At some point, when several families start to have kids, it is considered more appropriate to have sex privately.
Most are okay with the compromises.
More and more awesome people show up.
The couple has kids of their own.
The community establishes a social contract to try to keep everyone in the same headspace that got them all here in the first place.
Lots of the old-school folks start to think the place is getting constricted and lame.
A magazine does a story about their community. Videos circulate showing beautiful, free people dancing.
One fall, it becomes clear that they were running out of space in the meadow.

The children have lots of ideas on how to solve things. The elders have ideas, too.
Eventually, a group of the original settlers decide that they will come up with a plan to fairly give spaces to as many people as possible – knowing full well that, for the first time, not everyone will have a place to stay.
The spaces started to get divided up – randomly – to try to keep in accordance with their principles. But after 4/5th of the meadow was allocated, something became clear to everyone: They were going to run out of food.
Why?
Because a huge number of the elders who knew how to hunt and fish and farm did not get spaces in the meadow.
“So what!?” Said many meadow dwellers. Let the new people figure it out or starve. We have principles – we need to follow them.
“Fix this!” said others. Find a way to get the hunters here. Everything we’ve worked for will be lost if we lose the fertility of the meadow.
“Why is a fisherman more important than me? I don’t even eat meat!” Some complained.
A few said, “I told you so! Why didn’t you listen to us? You people are so stupid!”

The elders ached.
They had always welcomed ALL who were called to join them. But they were at an impasse.
They listened to many, many opinions. They considered many, many options.
Finally they made a decree:

“The Principles turned the meadow into what it is today. But what it is today cannot sustain the Principles as they stand. One way or another, we cannot welcome everyone to the meadow every year.
With are going to distribute the remaining 1/5 of the meadow to hunters, farmers, and fishermen who have the tools and knowledge to create the food we need.”

Many were pleased with the decision. Some were horrified.
Some said, “The meadow is dead,” like others had been saying for years.

In the end, the elders did what they felt they had to do keep their family alive. It was a compromise they could live with. In a “no-win” scenario, it was the path they felt was best.

How will the meadow fare this winter? Or the winters down the line? Time will tell.
In some ways, the chaos has provided a landscape of wonderful uncertainty that was lost early on in the meadow’s settlement. This chaos – combined with an influx of new, impassioned people – could create something magical.
But word is also spreading of new places where hunters and farmers have begun to gather – on the coast, in the forest, and even in a dry lake bed.

Some people believe that the world will soon be full of meadows. Others feel like the time of meadows is over. In the end, if you learn to hunt or fish or farm, then you can be in a meadow wherever you are.

(Not) the end.

-Halcyon

The Lottery (Everyone Will Burn Someday) – NEWMIX! ….freedownload LINK BELOW, yaypartyfuntimes! by spry!

With so many people unable to attend “Burning Man” this year, I wanted to share the other love-filled places I (& hopefully Pink Heart) will be participating and bringing Hug Nation this year.

{ KEY }
++ ATTENDING
(*) = hopefully
(**) = tiny chance
(!) = sold out

++ Burner Brunch (@ my place)March 4 (& every 1st Sat.)

++SD BM Film Fest – March 10

++Fuente Eterno (!) – Baja Mexico March 23

++Lucidity – Santa Barbara April 13-15
($ ask me about a discount code)

++ IgNight Fire Flow Celebration – Joshua Tree April 27-29

(**) Symbiosis May 17-22
(*) Flip Side May 27-29
(**) Lightning In A Bottle May 27-29

(**) June 10-12 http://www.harmonyfestival.com

(**) Aug 10-13 http://www.belovedfestival.com

++Burning Man (!) – BRC Aug 27-sept 3

++SD Decom – LJ Indian Res. TBD?

Happening?
?? http://elysiumfestival.org/

How can we use LOVE (instead of anger or fear) to guide us in the world?
(This was inspired by some criticism I’ve received lately about my “Float More” beliefs and how it can contribute to an unjust world.)

INCLUDES:
- “love” – 3 types Phileo “brotherly love”, eros “romantic, erotic.” Agape “divine love” [spelling?]
- Agape Love
- Love more, Fear less. Float more, Steer Less. does not mean INACTION!
- the same action done from a place of love, feels different from an action done from a place of anger, or guilt.
- GOD as Love, the highest form of vibrational flow. become more in alignment.
- you notice when you are out of alignment. you can move towards this from a negative place.
- you can fight darkness, or you can spread light. you have to take action.
- Criticism of my positivity. whether moving away from negative or towards positive, we are on the same team.
- spread light. look for opportunities. have integrity in the moment.

part 1 (Stay Calm!)

part 2 (It’s worse than I thought)

part 3 (Crap or Cone?)

Hi-lights form an interview with Xina

(Full episode here.)

Doop made this INSPIRED animation of me with the Anybeat logo.

I spent last Thurs-Sunday at Tribal Convergence, a “bi-annual gathering of Visionary Leaders from diverse regional conscious communities coming together as one Human Family to cultivate right relationships between ourselves, each other, and the Earth.”

(photo by Nick Heyming)

It was a challenging weekend.
I was outside of my comfort zone and it was good for me.

Before I went, I felt I had things to share: whether Hug Nation ideas or 1st Saturdays experiences.
But I was nervous, too. I am ignorant in many of the areas that the conference would discuss, like perma farming and community eco-living.
Since I have been feeling a call towards sustainability, I knew it was important to overcome my insecure feelings and go.

I walked in with a glowing heart and intended to give myself to the experience.
I was quickly in new territory.
And new rituals.
There was a way of interaction that I was not used to.
More participatory, perhaps? People would say, “Aho!” after a speaker’s statements. And people expressed all sorts of hand gestures that appeared to be intended to receive or give energy & attention.
Breath and sound were a part of most things – sometimes dramatically.
I witnessed the new age equivalent of “speaking in tongues” many times over the weekend.
I don’t say that as judgement.
But it did challenge me.
Even as I enjoyed a speaker or exercise, I would see people experiencing it in such dramatic ways that it made me question my own experience.
Clearly I am not feeling this in the same way.

It became evident to me that my connection with nature paled in comparison to most of the attendees. The group was filled with people who had made life choices to put them amongst trees…I had hired a gardner to deal with my yard.

When I spoke with people one on one, I was always struck by the immense love. I felt incredible openness and connection. It was a remarkable group of people.
Even so, I felt a bit like I didn’t belong. Or at least as though I should do more listening than speaking. Which I did.

This humility was good for me. I was quiet, I listened. I was introspective.
At times my self-judgement got pretty harsh as I saw people so free with their voice & body expression. There was a dance circle saturday night that people entered and boogied one by one. It was not a chance to show-off, it was just joyous expression that the crowd cheered – no matter what. I did not dance – even as I got chance-after-chance to answer the call, “Who hasn’t been in the middle, yet?”

On Friday and Saturday nights they had “Tribe Talks” which were sort of like TED talks. 10 minute slots where anyone could sign up to share a project or idea. I did a compressed Hug Nation Saturday night and had a blast.
Apparently the person I was on stage contrasted significantly with the person I had been the last few days. A facilitator said after I spoke, “I had no idea you were so dynamic.” Heh.

I’m still processing the experience. Trying not to judge myself too harshly – but still being honest.
My romantic thoughts of buying land have dwindled. (My love of restaurants is too great. And my dislike of food prep and manual labor remains strong.)

I am more deeply aware of my body disconnect. I hope to integrate more yoga and breath work in my future path.

Or not. But I am aware that my mind & spirit are more developed than my body.

Maybe some day I will feel like I am peers with the people of Tribal Convergence. Or maybe not. Either way I have learned from them and deeply appreciate who they are in the world. I feel grateful for the time spent and admire their paths. Now it is up to me to figure out what to do with this reflection.

Aho.

The first day that I was off my medication I was in another country. Dmitry and I had taken a long weekend to enjoy the tropical beaches of Playa Del Carmen.
I should note that I had not intended to go off my meds. But I forgot to pack them. And my obscure anti-anxiety/anti-depressant was not available in the Viagra shops that pass as pharmacies in Baja.
I had tried to go off them many times, so was braced for the inevitable dark cloud.
Luckily I was in paradise. It is fairly easy to avoid anxiety when you spend the day at the swim-up bar.
But on the second night, things got more challenging.
I was at a gorgeous nightclub right on the water. The music had my toes tapping and smiles filled the dancefloor. I wanted to dance and join the fun…but couldn’t.
I felt paralyzed. An irrational fear gripped me. What was I afraid of? Of rejection, I suppose. Of being embarrassed. Of having someone roll their eyes at me. Of feeling like a loser. Of feeling uncool.
It is shocking how much the fear of being uncool has imprisoned me over the course of my life.
I went inward and could feel the tension. It felt like every muscle was shaking and clenched.
I have been on a path of personal growth for a long time, so even though my reaction was irrational, I was aware of it.
I confessed to my friend and travel partner, Dmitry, what I was feeling.
He looked lovingly in my eyes. The last 48 hours had been packed with deep spiritual conversations and readings from Alan Watts, “The Book.”
He had a slight smile and said, “Deep down, you know that we are all connected. We are all One. That beautiful woman dancing is just another instance of YOU. Go introduce yourself to y ourself!”
The words hit deep. Of course. Any judgment or rejection could only happen on the surface level of ego. My true self is pure Love. What being would not want to meet another instance of pure Love?
Sure, she could be operating form some Ego scripts or projecting insecurities outward (I’m certainly guilty of that trap sometimes.) But that should be easy to recognize.
The reaction I am so scared of – is actually exists in a realm of consciousness that I no longer spend much time in. Why am I so scared of it? Why does it cause such a visceral reaction to me?
Clearly any judgment cast upon me has everything to do with the judge, and nothing to do with me. In fact, any negativity should be seen as a declaration about the spiritual state. And, actually, should give me cause to love her even more deeply.

Judgment does not come from a high place looking down. It comes from a scared place projecting out.
Like a frightened animal baring it’s teeth.

The dancefloor transformed before my eyes. What was intimidating dissolved into compassion. I could see each individual as a precious instance of divine consciousness.
Each person wrapped up in a lifetime of experiences and beliefs. Each person struggling and doing their best. Our labels, looks and personalities distinguish us – but at the core we are all one.
These were my brothers and sisters. These were my reflections.
In an instant a crowd of intimidation became a sea of Love.
I joined the dancefloor and let my smile merge with the others. We bounced and moved to the beat. Like individual cells pulsing through the veins of a larger being.
Connected.
And the anxiety was nowhere to be found.
In fact, the dark cloud never returned.

I remembered that Playa Del Carmen magic last night as I talked to my beloved.
Bliscious was preparing for her first trade show. She was building a business and was ready to get out there in a bigger way.
She poured herself into every detail. Her business was her art project. Every picture on the brochure was like a brushstroke of her masterpiece.
It has been beautiful to watch. And sometimes painful. Last night after listening to her latest round of promo ideas and discounts, I had to stop her.
It is good to want to have everything in order. It is amazing that you are getting so many scenarios figured out.
But pull back for a second and remember what you are doing and who you are.
Yes, you are in a sales role. Yes, you need to close deals and bring in money.
But you are not a snake oil saleswomen or swindler.
You and your partner are extremely talented and offer a high end service.
You are not in a position of trying to manipulate your customer into a sale… you are in a position of having a wonderful gift for them.
Your talents – and more importantly – your demeanor – will make their special wedding day even better.
You are not a Wallmart service. You are a high end boutique. Your customers will respond to what you provide, not what you discount.
Your services are premiere, so resist the feeling that you need to discount everything to compete. There are cheaper options – and that is great. Your dream was never to get women a good deal on their wedding day. Your dream is to elevate a woman’s whoe essence. To bring out her inner and outer beauty in ways she’s never experienced before. To surround a woman in light and love while using your Artistic talents to make her appearance match her divine presence.
THAT is who you are. THAT is what you do.
You are at the trade show to give this gift to beautiful brides.
Offering discounts and deals is part of the process, but make no mistake that what you offer is a gift at any price.

As I said this to B, I knew that I was saying it to myself, too. We all experience fear thoughts. We all question our worthiness. We all need to be reminded that we are a gift to the world. We are all afraid of someone rolling their eyes at us or telling us our prices are outrageous. It is the same voice of judgment that makes a dancefloor feel like a snake pit.
Anxiety is what we feel when we forget that we are a gift. When we forget that our divine nature is priceless. When we allow fear & insecurity to warp our sense of self.
The reality is that not everyone will recognize your gift. And others may even try to make you feel bad. They may try to dampen you r light for any number of reasons. Maybe it highlights their own fears. Maybe they have learned that it can work as a warped negotiation tactic.

Either way, remember that any judgment comes from below you. Dismissive attitudes should be pat on the head like a bullying toddler. Wish them the best and move on to those who deserve your attention.

Anxiety used to be a beast that kept me in constant state of tension & fear. Medication helped, but it was like training wheels that eventually served little purpose.
What finally allowed me to tame the beast was the recognition that it is only my ego that looks up at the face of a vicious dragon. My true self looks down on the head of an untrained puppy.
The anxiety is just a feeling. The fear is just temporary. My true self is Love. My true self is immune to such negativity.
Of course, I enjoy the cycles of the human experience. And sometimes my divine self gets lost in beliefs. Sometimes the Beast gets loose. I get scared as it chases me around or nips at my calves.
That is, until I remember that I can just turn around and face the beast. I can stare into its eyes and see it’s fear. I can allow my Love to shine into the world and turn the dragon into a puppy. And I can love the puppy for what it is and what it is here to teach me.
I’ve been off meds for over 2 years and have never been happier.
Good boy.

I believe the meaning of life is to EXPERIENCE the gift of life, itself. But I’m starting to realize there is a set of rules or “Best Practices” to this grand Game of Life, as well.

Here is a link to the Turkish Mountaintop Story I mentioned.