Last week at HugNation I read from GalaDarling’s awesome #RadicalSelfLove project. Here is the 2 min. clip where I get all hot and bothered:

I was so inspired that I reached out to Gala and asked if she would be up for a quick Skype chat to talk about Love. And because she is awesome, she agreed. Here we are talking Love, life and pinkness:

Spreading the pink at SXSW

Bobby Friction does an awesome radio show on BBC Radio 1.

He interviewed me (after a night of partying HARD) for his Burning Man episode. (Intro is a skype convo with Mike Hedge)

A celebration of LOVE month! We talk about Galadarling.com’s #radicalselflove, The Huggable Campaign, Some Grandpa goodies, and more:

“I feel something deep inside that says whatever time you have left, give yourself to loving people and helping people.”
–Rev. Caleb Shikles

Saturday night, I was driving while the sun was setting. I was in a great mood and reflecting on how wonderful my day had been.
But for a moment I couldn’t remember what I had done all day.

In the morning I visited my parents and helped with babysitting my nephews. Caleb was a handful – but I managed to keep him pretty busy. We played catch, chase, and wrestled. He only made his little brother cry twice. And I only made Caleb cry twice.
As I left my mom was very thankful – but I shrugged it off. I wasn’t there out of obligation, I was there by choice!

Later I visited my friend Edwerd. I set him up a blog last week and he needed some help with uploading and posting photos. After I gave him a tutorial he thanked me profusely. I appreciated the gesture, but realized that it was truly *my* pleasure. My actions were motivated by a kind of selfishness: I am at a point in my life where if I have free time, I would LOVE to spend it helping someone I love.

Driving home from Edwerd’s, I dropped by a friend’s house who mentioned they needed to borrow my hair clippers. (I had put them in the car earlier – I don’t always drive around ready to trim people’s necks.)

By the time I was driving home in the sunset, I had spent the bulk of my day helping people. And contrary to feeling depleted, I felt warm and energized. Grandpa’s words replayed in my head. Was I “getting it” finally??

When I called my mom later in the eve, she reflected on how much I have changed recently in that regard. “We used to hate asking you for anything,” she said. “If we needed a ride to the airport, you would do it grudgingly and make it very clear that you had things to do. But lately you’ve spent full days helping us with the computer and it feels like you are happily present.”

I’m still wrapping my head around this: Help people=good day. Could it be that simple?

I recently heard about a study where they looked at happiness trends. They found that once you get your basic needs met, getting more stuff did not meaningfully affect a person’s happiness. The one thing they found that DID affect people’s happiness was by GIVING more.
How’s that for turning the model on it’s head? We spend all our energy trying to get stuff. And the only thing that will really make us happy is to give.

Later that night another friend sent me an email asking if they could borrow my photo studio. After making sure I was free, my thought was, “SWEET! It’s gonna be another great day!”

-jhs
2.3.2010

**To hear Grandpa’s quote, watch the first minute of the video at the top of GrandpaCaleb.com.**

Live on UStream at 1pm PST.

I asked Caleb how old he was, and his answer transcended space and time.

Tao Te Cha-Ching, Losing & Winning, Forgive me, Jesus, and Hug Time.

HugNation jan 27 “Tao” from Belief Buffet on Vimeo.

I had an awesome lunch yesterday with a exceptionally wise Christian friend. As we talked I found myself finding more connection with Jesus’ words as well as clarity of basic spiritual ideas I have been exploring.

Preface: I do not identify as a Christian. I see Jesus as a great Spiritual leader who tried to express a profound divine awareness with those around him. He tried to put the awareness into words (Which have then been translated and passed on through the Multi-generational Church PR machine.) But I think the specific words are far less important than the direction of the ideas.
And to me, I see this same direction of thought from many evolved teachers in history and living today.
So, while I am frustrated by some people’s strict allegiance to the words of the bible, I am also struck by how often it can be interpreted in ways that mesh perfectly with my “new age” philosophies.
For example, I see Jesus as the role model for our ideal selves. I don’t see him as the son of god but as a symbol of the divine in all of us. In this sense, we “follow Jesus” as we walk our paths and strip away our worldly socialization. The false idols we need to avoid are the “gods “ of status, fame, wealth, etc..
Chasing these things is a sure fire path to suffering. And if we place these things above Love, our world feels like it is filled with obstacles and injustice. This focus on “what is wrong” is what I would call, “Hell.”
But when we see the miracles that surround us, then Heaven is in every moment.
Therefore the “path” to heaven is within. Or “Through me, “ meaning “becoming more Christ-like.”
I was thinking about the almost comical Christian belief that you can ask for forgiveness on your deathbed and no matter what you did, still go to Heaven.
But during lunch I had an epiphany: This idea of instant access to Heaven through forgiveness is profound.
The reality is that you are not asking forgiveness of anything outside of yourself. You are accepting the flawed perfection that is “you.”
You are recognizing that this Ego Persona is not really, “You.” All these things you may have shame or guilt over, were done as part of your separate ego identity. But when you let go of that identity – when you “forgive” that part of yourself – then you can step into your divine one-ness.
And THAT puts you in the state of Heaven in an instant.
In that moment that we recognize that ANY decision we make with our ego minds is severely limited, we are set free.
“Forgiveness” of the ego self is a recognition of non-separation.
If we let go of our ego identity, then we can sense the one-ness of the universe. The connection with all things.
It is also a release of attachment – A letting go of that perception that we know what is best.
My ego brain is not to be trusted. As I ask forgiveness for the actions of my Ego self, I am surrendering to a higher power, flow, energy, love, God.
I see this forgiveness as the same sort of awakening. Where the divine seed in us “forgives” the ego mind for it’s narrow choices and actions.
“Accepting Jesus in our heart” is actually a surrendering to the divine connection that has always existed within us.
And suddenly the idea of being absolved of all sins in an instant makes a ton of sense.

Jan 23, 2010

WELCOME
Welcome Family and Friends!
We are gathered here today with Brandon & Evelyn to celebrate one of the deepest gifts this existence has to offer.
“LOVE.”
Love is just a word. It is very difficult for a single syllable to embody the depth of what it Love is to us. And the word means different things to different people. In this global crowd, it’s meaning is even more confusing. “Para el amor no existe idiomas ni distancias” (Lo siento para mi mal Espanol)
But our inability to express it does not affect it’s power.
Love is…everything.
Today we see love transcending language. Transcending geography. Transcending all the surface-level inconveniences and obstacles that we too often mistake for Life.
Life is when we see past all the small stuff and let ourselves be vessels of love.
And when we meet someone who can see the depth of love inside us, who recognizes our unique precious perfection, and allows us to blossom in love with them, it is truly a Magical Thing.
It is Magical far beyond the joy it brings to the lucky couple, themselves. It is a gift to all of us who can bask in the warmth of their union.
A day like today is special in that it allows us to all recognize this gift. All who are here have played a role in their lives. And all who are here are blessed by the love they share.
And we are so deeply blessed.

FAIRY TALE
Does everyone know how the happy couple met? Once upon the time there was a fair maiden, far from home, lost in a city called San Francisco.
Through the fog of the Bart Station, a dark handsome prince approached.
M’lady, you look lost. Where are you headed?
Where she was going is irrelevant. What is important is that the knight said,
“I know the way….Why don’t we go there, together….”
And so began their adventures together that continue to this day. Through different cities and different countries. Overcoming fire breathing dragons and ogre-ish immigration officials. Finding their way together – sharing the amazing and the mundane.
Just remember that no matter how thick the fog or how lost you may be in Life’s Mass Transit, know that the destinations are meaningless.
Wherever your adventures take you, You will live happily ever after …together.

FINAL

Marriage is at once a new beginning as well as a timeless ritual. These two individuals make this day totally unique and special, but the ceremony is rooted in the powerful traditions and commitments of millions of sacred bonds across many faiths.

My grandpa read the same passage from this tattered book at over 1000 weddings. When he gave this to me he said that there are couples still together today that were married with this book, over 50 years ago. I’d like to share the same passage with you.

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Corinthians 1-13

Life is choices.
With a few exceptions, we always have choices.
Even when we feel trapped, it is usually because we simply don’t like our options.
Sometimes the hardest choices to make are when we like multiple options.

This week I have been struggling with my own “Betty vs. Veronica” situation.

For those of you who were not huge Archie fans, Betty was the sweet blonde who competed with raven-haired Veronica for the affection of Archie, the ginger.

Year after year, he strung both girls along. (Presumably, because they were comic books for children, nether coupling ever got *too* intimate… so his two timing never really became an issue.)

Sometimes it is much harder to have 2 options that you like. It can become more about “rejecting” one than picking another.

My personal Betty and Veronica is regarding a weekend in March.
Will I go to Mexico for “Fuente Eterno” or to Austin for “SXSW?”

I have tickets for both. I have dear friends going to both. I wish I could keep dating them both indefinitely. But life is not like comic books.

I have been participating in SXSW for over 10 years. It is like my “geek Burning Man.” I’m on the steering committee, have been on a dozen panels, given solo talks, and even hosted the Web Awards for a number of years. I get to see tons of people I only know online and am surrounded by digital geniuses who inspire me. It is also the only tech conference that I still go to and play a role in. In some ways it is the symbolic link that helps me maintain my role as an “expert” in the New Media field.

Funete Enterno is a 500 person Burning Man-style event held at a magical hot springs location in Baja Mexico. I have never attended but continue to hear that it is a “must-do” event for “people like me.” I’ve heard it described it as a more sacred, more loving, more intimate slice of The Playa.

It feels like the decision is more symbolic than simply deciding how to spend a weekend. It feels like I am choosing the tone of the next chapter of my life.

Will I continue to pursue a path as a Digital Media Consultant? Assisting companies with the technologies and concepts I have been playing with for the last decade? It is certainly an area in which I am considered an expert and seems the most logical career path.

Or will I commit more seriously to the spiritual writing/speaking/teaching path that continues to develop in me? I don’t know what this future looks like, I only know the values and ideas that pull me in that direction. Is there a way to support myself down that path? I don’t know.

Known vs. Unknown.
Security vs. Adventure.
Expertise vs. Passion.

Part of me wants to get advice from friends. But the reality is that I am the only one who can make this choice. This choice needs to come from inside me, not from any external logic. The truth is, I’m scared. I know that my marketability as a digital consultant is only of value if I keep up to date on the latest trends and tech. So getting off the treadmill for a year – or even a month – feels like it would have profound effects on my career.

But maybe that is the Fear talking.

Maybe I need to let go of this trapeze bar- and float in uncertainty before I can even see what the next -more wonderful- bar will look like. Or maybe I will fall. Hell, maybe a fall is what would be best for me.

I think I know what I need to do. The promise of that unknown trapeze bar is too much to let Fear stand it the way. It may be time to loosen my grip on the career and reputation I’ve built.

I’ve told myself this is the chapter of floating more – and right now the current is saying, “Let go…”

I hope my friends will understand: Deep down, Betty was always the girl for me.

-John

Jan 14, 2010