This was my 14th Burn. Here are my reflections.

PART1 : THE JOURNEY

This year’s journey started perfectly for me – with my RV breaking down.
The Hugmobile was sidelined with vapor lock just blocks from where it met the same fate last year. San Bernardino is apparently the Pink Bermuda Triangle.

But as dedicated students of Surrender, we rolled with it. We spent the day parked outside a drug dealers house and sweat through a 110 degree afternoon that was far hotter than anything Black Rock City would muster up later in the week. (To be fair, I’m making an assumption about his occupation based on the frequency of short, drive-up visits.)

Brandi gently mocked me as she fanned herself, “I saw a video last week where someone said that Burning Man starts the minute you get in the car.” Yep, nothing quite like getting your own words thrown back at you.

At one point the home owner came outside, eyes glazed and paranoid – to ask us for ID. I don’t blame him. I’ve seen enough TV shows to know that when a weird van parks in front of your house for an extended time, you are probably under surveillance. But by the time we had pulled away we had shared a six pack and been invited in for dinner. Burning Man had indeed begun.

When nightfall hit, we tried the 83 Winibego, again. Unsuccessfully. So AAA towed us back to San Diego. The exact same tow truck driver. The exact same 3 hour route. Exactly 1 year later. “Happy Anniversary!”

This year, there were no cargo vans available for rent in San Diego. So our crew of 4 scrambled to find a solution. We ended up sending our bikes up with friends and squashed what we could fit into (and strapped to the top of) 2 SUV’s. There is something
poetic about taking all of the items you’ve painstakingly organized into RV drawers, shelves and closets and then sweeping them roughly into black plastic bags. It’s like a organizational dust storm to jolt loose any last hold on expectations.

We drove all day, stayed the night in Reno, loaded up on supplies, and made it to Black Rock City one day behind schedule. But we were in good spirits. Saturday arrival is still well within the “Early Entry” period for large camp & art setup.

When we arrived at our address at 9:30 & Esplanade, I was reminded that our actual journey began months ago. The shade structures had been assembled by our first arrivals, but our plot of land looked like a hurricane path. Boxes, bins, tarps, clips, lights, sculptures, and all manor of materials lay strewn about – ready for assembly. We had spent months planning, buying, and creating pieces of our pink oasis. Now it was time to see if the pieces would fit together.

It would be misleading to describe the setup process as “work.” It is more like setting the table for the dinner party of your life. You know the food will be amazing. You know the guests will be delighted. You can barely contain the excitement in anticipation of it all coming together. It is a shame that so many people show up for only the last few days of Burning Man… because it it the first few days – when everything is being built – that is the most magic for me.

While the city is being built, there is a special camaraderie. There is a pride as we all give our skills and brawn to create Utopia out of the barren desert. But there is also a humility – we are all of service to the larger ideal. We are all small pieces of something great.

PART 2: CAMP

This was the second year of Pink Heart. While there are many groups of friends among the 85 of us, we are a diverse group. Most of us were drawn to the idea of the camp, rather than the group itself. Many of us met for the first time on the Playa. One of the mandatory camp requirements (in addition to financial dues and 2 pink pillows for the dome) is to write a heartfelt & vulnerable introduction. We all share who we really are. Not what we do – but who we ARE. And who we are becoming. It makes the road to Burning Man one of heart opening and connection. By the time we meet each other in the flesh, we already have a bond of the heart. Of all the things that I did as camp leader, this is the thing I am most proud of.

We came from England & all over the US. We were white, black, gay, straight, rich, poor, vegan activists & bacon lovers.

We spent much more energy this year on our private space & camp kitchen – with a mattress, couches, and tons of seating. It was almost always full of dusty smiles and drooling nappers. Often it was more active than our Esplanade public space. The camp meals were new this year and far more bonding than I expected. Seeing loving bonds grow between campmates as the week wore on was a beauty beyond description.

We had a 200×300 foot plot, and our gift to Burning Man was our frontage. We had huge pink shade structures. A plush-filled pink dome. Pink fur couches. Spires. Metal sculpture. A Water Bar with iced cucumber water…and until we ran out, coconut milk ice cream.

The camp mission was to facilitate an environment for heart opening-moments for the people of Black Rock city. Shade, comfortable seating, a view of the playa – and simple gifts of cold nourishment during the hot days. We wanted to be a lighthouse for body, mind and spirit. A place to recalibrate physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

From the reactions of visitors, I think we did an amazing job. I know I felt wonderful in our fuchsia oasis.
Not only was the camp plan realized beautifully, but the individual efforts of Pink Hearters added to the magic in unexpected ways. Christian’s efforts to get the coconut milk ice cream were inspiring. Shawn and her husband made beautiful wooden heart pendant necklaces that delighted so many. And Rob’s remote controlled “Robot Drinking Fountain” was, quite simply, spectacular.

PART 3: EXPERIENCES

My year was much less about wandering into adventures, and more about executing plans. (Or at least as much a “plans” can exist in Black Rock City.)
The camp, itself, was a big one. But so was my Tuesday night performance, a legal wedding, a Hug Nation & the Pink Ride.

On Tuesday night I performed “Cocoon.” My first every attempt at producing, choreographing, and dancing in a public performance. I always talk about how Burning Man is such a supportive environment that it allows you to express your quieted creative impulses. This experience allowed me to walk the talk – and stretch into some uncomfortable – but beautiful – places. Having a partner who encourages fantasies to be expressed, not to mention help them manifest, is one of the greatest gifts I can imagine.
Brandi & I rehearsed once in the default world, but the whole performance had a single rehearsal – on the night of the performance. I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends who brought their talents – and calming energy – to performance night. This was truly a rite of passage for me and I am forever in debt to everyone who – literally – made a dream come true.

The Friday wedding was gorgeous. We arranged camp chairs into rows so that Jawan could walk the “aisle” in her gorgeous gown (with trail.) The guests, including the groom’s parents and favorite aunt, hummed “Here comes the bride” as we all stood.
Their vows brought me to tears. The groom’s mother shared loving words. But the highlight of the ceremony was when it was disrupted. Twice I had to stop the service because loud art cars were rumbling past with blaring beats. And twice the ENTIRE congregation stood and danced during the “disruption.” This was the moment I will remember most from this year’s Burn. A young couple, about to start a life together, stood nervous and excited. And when faced with a huge obstacle in their plan, they embraced it. They didn’t furrow their brow and wish things were different. They rolled with it and danced. May we all live like this…happily every after.

Tuesday’s HugNation and Thursday’s Pink Ride were highlights – not just of the week – but of my life. I felt so connected. So in the Flow. I took my time and shared stories. I cried. I opened my heart. I received so much love back. I probably had more hugs than any other days in my life. I missed the “Who What Where” cutoff, so my events were not publicized. Everyone in attendance had to know about it in advance or make significant effort to be a part. The crowds were large, intimate, and amazing. After I spoke on thursday, as we all got on our bikes, I addressed the pink-clad crowd. I told everyone to say or think loving words and compliments at everyone we passed on the way to center camp. That ride was indescribable. I looked behind me to see 50? 100? more maybe? Tons of people dressed in pink, showering compliments. There was a visual and spiritual ripple of love trailing behind us. I had the thought, “I could die right now,” without a trace of morbidity.

THE LESSONS:

Surrender is always a huge part of my Burning Man learning. While many lamented the car trouble of the Hugmobile, I saw it as a bon voyage gift from Grandpa. “Before you get to the Playa, let me make sure you REALLY understand the importance of surrender.” So many of my well-made plans evaporated with the vapor lock. I was in “float more” mode long before hitting the dust. Couldn’t be more perfectly timed.

I heard the term, “FOMA” (Fear Of Missing Out) lots this year. I had to face that fear quickly and decided that much of my energy this year would go into the camp needs, hosting the camp, and connecting with visitors. I could have been a better delegator, but in the end, I couldn’t have been happier with my choices. I missed out on more than ever. But I received in the most profound ways, too.

“You can’t be liked by everyone.” I know this intellectually to be true, but it was the hardest lesson to embrace this year. Although 99% of my interactions this year were filled with gratitude and Love, I fixated on a few people’s perceptions that were less-than-favorable. I heard 3rd person that I was called arrogant & selfish by some and accused of creating a “cult of John” by another. Unfortunately, I never found out who in my camp was sharing those thoughts. I became self conscious in my camp’s private area – never knowing who of my campmates harbored negativity towards me. The knowledge affected my experience more than I would have liked. I doubt I would have changed my behavior much. I was deeply connected to my role of Service, and if that path rubbed people wrong I was – at least intellectually- okay with it. When a different person shared their frustrations to my face I was deeply grateful. They said, “I don’t want to make you feel bad, but….” I thought about their feedback, considered my motivations, and replied sincerely. “I don’t feel bad. Thank you.”

Finally, I was encouraged & inspired. Such a huge part of my life consists of isolation and interaction via a digital terminal. I get emails with wonderful words, but the energetic jolt from a hug and eye contact is infinitely more powerful. I met people who not only read my book, but loved it! People that had bought many copies as gifts and one firefighter who read a little every night before bed. I met people who credited me with bringing them to burning man…which had then transformed their life. I met met people who felt their lives were happier and more joyful because of my influence. I met people who said I saved their lives. As I type this, I realize they are all just words, again. But something clicked for me. My work & passion had touched people in significant ways. I heard people speak about me as I have spoken about my most significant teachers. If my life of joyful service can have that impact, then my path is right. Then my insecurity and small thinking is not just a personal issue – it is impeding the divine that flows through me. I feel inspired to write more. To reach higher. To connect on a grander scale. But not as a quest for fame – from a role of service.

THE FUTURE:

Jake & I have about 3 Terabytes of video footage and audio interviews from the week to go through. I fluctuate between immense excitement and being overwhelmed. I have a vague idea of what I wanted to create… but the Playa circumstances allowed what it allowed. Perhaps all this footage is just the beginning. Perhaps it was just a learning exercise. Or maybe I’ll find a way to tell the stories I want to tell and share the magic that has transformed me. That continues to transform me. At the very least, I hope I can convey the gratitude. Gratitude for every participant who is a part of the magic. Gratitude for the circumstances that allow me to participate in body, mind, and spirit. And gratitude to everyone who receives and supports my personal path of growth, expression and connection.

Thank you. I love you. Namaste.

-Halcyon

p.s. I’m also excited about the future because of the beta launch of a new social network I co-founded, Anybeat. It is built on Burning Man principles and lessons of community learned on the Playa. It is a huge project with huge potential. If you read this far, you can use this special invite code.) See you at Home.

I got this email from a stranger who stumbled upon our Burning Man camp:

“It was very early Tuesday morning when my girlfriend and I stumbled into your pink lounge. The sun was about to come up and there was a man on a trike playing a classical loop that was quite literally tickling the back of our spines. I’m not quite sure if the lounge was open persay but we stayed and cuddled anyways for around an hour. It was the best night cap this hopeless romantic could have ever asked for.

Out of 7 days of cacophony this simple, seemingly pointless story was my absolute favorite moment on the playa. Before this night/morning, I had never experienced that level of intimacy with someone. I don’t like to dwell on and live in the past but this is one memory I can’t shake and causes tears of joy to surface from my heart every time I contemplate it.
Thank you.”

Beautiful blog post describing one woman’s experience at the Pink Ride.

More thoughts when the dust settles…

Ideas on a Burning Man project that aims to facilitate WAKING UP!

Pink Heart is a place to nourish and support the growth of Love.
Campmates contribute time, money, and energy to create a magical space filled with shade, comfort, & bliss.
Over the last 2 years we’ve given hundreds of gallons of iced cucumber water & thousands of servings of vegan ice cream….in the desert.
Be a part & help us spread the gifts.

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/26597181 w=549&h=309]

Help Bring Cold Yummy Creamy Bliss to the Hot Playa.

Here’s the problem:

We have THOUSANDS of servings of amazing, dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free, vegan, GMO free, cruelty-free Coconut Bliss ice-cream donated & ready to be gifted.

But we need to get it to the Playa! (The truck we had lined up just pulled out.) We need at least $1500 to get a refrigerated truck, gas & insurance so we can get the ice cream to Burning Man, keep it cold, and spread the yumminess.

DONATE!

*contribute $25 or more and receive a Pink Heart gift package with a reusable metal water bottle, DVD, & sticker!
**We tried to do this via Kickstarter.com, but they rejected us.

Visit us at 9:30 & Esplanade!

Posted 2 new videos on the Burning Man Blog.

“A misting, like a handjob, while WONDERFUL, should always be consensual”

All tips videos are available on Lustmonkey.com

Oh, Pink Heart also got our Playa Address! 9:30 & Esplanade.

During Hug Nation, I was asked if Burning Man was becoming commercial. This is my long-winded reply.

More of my Burning Man videos at Lustmonkey.com

Pink Heart is more than just a place I camp at Burning Man. At yesterday’s meeting, I tried to explain what it means and where it came from.

I just finished this year’s videos.

There are 3:

1) A 16 minute music video love letter to Fuente. “FUENTE ETERNO 2011″ (5/6 music tracks are by attendees)

2) A 24 minute teary HugNation broadcast, “Fuente Inspiration.”

3) A raw 3 minute ( & also tear-filled) poolside video confessional. (uploading soon.)

Last year’s Fuente experience & the videos I shared afterward were hugely significant to me.

I was moved to tears again at the Pool Party. I was so overwhelmed with the beautiful life I was leading. So awe-filled by the experience I was having. So amazed by the people I called friends and loved ones.

But there was something new that shook my core. As I settled into the amazing experience and people, I realized there was an added level of Joy for me. Since last year, I have the added knowledge of how supportive my community was to me after my raw video expression from last year. When I uploaded the footage, I knew that I would be safe in sharing tears, but the level of support was amazing. When I exposed my most raw feelings, I felt completely cradled in Love. And as more people shared last year’s video, I felt like my open heart connected to more and more amazing individuals. Like there were hundreds of tubes connecting my heart and the hearts of so many friends, lovers, and collaborators.

What is also warming is that so many people living lives different that mine have embraced me & my path. It isn’t just crazy-haired burners & hippies. Love & Gratitude are the foundation of any lifestyle, even if you don’t spell it out with flowers in your hair.

At poolside, as I thought about my life path of the last year, the tears came again.

Last year when I shared my emotions with Janus, he cautioned me to keep room above… to not limit the ceiling of Joy. I laughed at the thought, but he was right. Life has gotten better and better.

I wish I had more time with every single attendee of Fuente. But the collective vibrations shared through the canyon were beyond my wildest dreams. Literally.

If you are reading this, THANK YOU.

Thank you for being a part of this amazing journey. Thank you for receiving the words and expressions I am moved to share. Thank you for being YOU.

(I wish I could give a certificate to everyone, but know that you deserve one.)

I Love you.

-Halcyon

Fuente Eterno 2011

by Halcyon

features:

The Journey, Guadalupe Canyon, Waterfall, UniFier, Pool Party, Ceremony

music:

“I’m Going Home” – Solovox

“Clouds” – Love In The Circus

“Cotton Eyed Joe” – Red Nex

“Clouds” – Love In The Circus

“No Rain” – Pumpkin Remix

“Opening Ceremony Chant”

Renfey, Jeremy Weinglass & David Bergeaud

Final Slideshow – Mario Covic Photography
Additional filming by B.licious & Dmitry.
Shuttle Bus – Baja Trek
Thank you Blue, Turo, Cade, Daphne, Yehonatan, Stevie, Roots, Steve, WeeVil, Drew, & everyone who helped make the canyon magic.

Following the Burning Man ticket frustration, I was reminded of some of the powerful lessons of Surrender that the Playa has given me. I tell a story of “The Fall of Xara” from Burning Man 2000 & speak to the ticket sales frustrations, too.

**NOTE: I AM NOT AN OFFICIAL REPRESENTATIVE OF BURNING MAN. I am merely a Participant with a passion for the event, people, and principles of Burning Man.** – John Halcyon Styn
Mentioned in the video: BurningMan.com, Byron Katie, Jacob Glass, A Course IN Miracles, Lustmonkey.com

Tickets to Fuente sold out in five minutes…again.

I was enthusiastically vocal about how much I enjoyed my experience last year. The videos I posted were practically recruitment vids.

Which, looking back, was a shitty thing to do for an event that is already filled to capacity.

If I got you excited and attached to an outcome, I apologize.

If it helps…
I had heard of Fuente for 4 years before I attended.
Many tickets become available as the event gets closer.
When the time is right you will be there.

more emotions from the day:

And some comic relief from the pool party:

An envelope was delivered to me today in MY HANDWRITING…

It was a Playa project by Veronika Petra

Iskip.com inspired me to make this skipping compilation video. Features my family, Shonda, Gay Pride, ComicCon, and Burning Man.

I was honored to have some AMAZING photographers take my picture this year at Burning Man. I made a slideshow out of some of my faves.

I check out the Burning Man Facebook Page every day. I post to it a few times a week and love reading the responses from people whose minds and hearts have been blown open. People from all ages and walks of life share similar words of appreciation. I especially love reading comments from people who just had their first taste of ANY Burning Man culture – people coming to terms with the idea that life can be lived differently than they previously knew.

Sure there are some spammy posts. But that is par for the course for pages with 100K+ members.

Yesterday, I read a reply that I felt compelled to respond to. Well, actually it was after seeing the 3rd or 4th similar reply from the same person that I finally felt the need to respond.

Peter emailed me for clarification, but I don’t think we were seeing things the same way.

The “finger and the moon” metaphor comes from Buddhism. There is a teaching that says that Buddhism is just a finger pointing the way to the moon. But do not confuse the finger for the moon.The experiences that happen at Burning Man can not be evaluated or judged by the conversations, photos, posts, or marketing that happens surrounding them. And to judge Burning Man based on any of those tangentially related things is totally missing the point.

But it is not a new challenge. Every spiritual path falls into this trap. The Experience itself can not be captured with words – but we try, anyway. We write texts about it, we record the steps taken to get to our epiphanies, and we try- futilely – to express the inexpressible.Very quickly, people begin to see these words as sacred. People forget that the words were just poor attempts to capture something much grander. Dogma and rules gradually rise in importance.And, sadly, people begin to confuse the finger for the moon.

All this talk about Burning Man has little to do with Burning Man. Just as talk about televangelists has little to do with Jesus. What matters is the individual experience. What matters is the personal connection with something that is inexpressible. When I try to put it into words, I use the term, “Love.” But as soon as the word is typed, it can be interpreted 1000 different ways.

So in a world filled with negativity, why did I feel a need to respond to one specific comment?

Because the wide-eyed excitement of a fresh Burner is so rare and precious. And because that mind-blown state is so fragile. There are a million voices in the default world ready to knock you down and tell you your dreams are a joke and your feelings aren’t real. One of the reasons I return to the Burning man Facebook page is so that I can remind myself of all the amazing people who DO support one another in this awareness path.

It is fine to take issue with things. I’m sure there is room for improvement on many fronts. But why not address them specifically, instead of bashing any comment that says positive things?

When someone pisses in the holy water from inside the congregation, it irks me. Especially since Burning Man is a “do-ocracy.” Don’t whine about the squeaky wheel. Either find some oil, build a new wheel, or start banging a drum and make some music with the squeaks.

I think you’ll find that, if you stop looking for the bad, you’ll find that beautiful music is all around you.

-Halcyon

Sept 27, 2010

Here’s a musical glimpse into the intense LOVE I experienced this year at Burning Man and specifically with Pink Heart. The dancing, parties, fire, and art are all AWESOME – but there is a deeper magic at Burning Man that fuels it all…LOVE.

Song: “Give Love” by MC YOGI.
(song avail from http://yogafriends.com/)

I was asked to join 9 other guys for a “Full Monty” performance at the Fuente Pool Party. We even had rehearsal!

“Dick In A Box” Fuente Eterno 2010 from Belief Buffet on Vimeo.

I was asked to join 9 other guys for a “Full Monty” performance at the Fuente Pool Party. We even had rehearsal!

“Dick In A Box” Fuente Eterno 2010 from Belief Buffet on Vimeo.

This was the fifth annual Fuente Eterno gathering, but it was the first time I was able to attend. I was delighted to find that after 13 years of Burning Man-inspired counterculture, I am still being impacted in profound ways. And more than ever, I feel like I am part of a community.

There was something that hit me as I talked to people over the weekend. (Weekend being a loose term since most people were here Thurs-Mon.) I began to notice how many people in attendance were working to inspire others. Person after person had made a change in their life so that they were dedicating some of their energy towards “lighting people up.”
This community is so important because we encourage one another to do this.

The society at large *says* that they support people following their dreams. But I’m not sure that is really true. Maybe *certain* dreams. Do you want to start a retail business or pursue your dream career in Law or Social Services? Well then teachers and parents will pat you on the pack and help you with applications.

But what if you like making dangerous sculptures? Or being a circus performer? Or just studying topics that call to you? What if you like doing things without a real plan for how you make a living with it?
The society at large would most likely consider those pursuits a waste of time…or perhaps even selfish.
But in this community, people are encouraged to RUN in whatever direction they are called.
“Following your Bliss,” no matter what it looks like, is NOT a selfish act.
I believe in “Inner-Activism.” This means that working on yourself can be the most profound way to affect the world.

“The World Can Only Change From Within.”
~Eckhart Tolle

I believed this intellectually, but was challenged on this frequently. Many people would tell me, “If you really wanted to help, you’d get from behind the computer and work a soup kitchen.”
But I have heard from dozens of people who have made profound changes in their lives inspired either partially or dramatically by me.
Not by anything I said or did – but simply by me following my path.
I hear the societal voices mocking my arrogance even as I write that. But tears well in my eyes, because I feel it so strongly to be true.

This community encourages people to fan their own flames because we know that those flames ignite sparks in others. And then each fire fuels one another in a cumulative firestorm of mutual inspiration.

***

This weekend I talked to Chris.
Chris has been helping throw Fuente for 5 years and has plans forming for grander and more magical events. But Chris in not a party “promoter” filled with slick talk. He is more like a loving parent who works tirelessly to create a safe and loving playground for the kids to enjoy. (Maybe not physically safe – those rocks are harsh! But safe for inner exploration and artistic expression.) He spends his surplus energy.
Society might see throwing wild parties as a selfish act. But if you saw people’s eyes as they left the canyon, you would know his charity was the deepest sort.

This weekend I talked to Destin.
Destin spent years studying and learning about his own sexuality. There is perhaps nothing more selfish than navel-gazing…except maybe penis-gazing. But Destin now uses this energy to do workshops and coaching. By fanning his own fire he routinely helps people break out of their binds of repression and ignite themselves.

This weekend I talked to Karpo.
Karpo left his biotech job to pursue Life Coaching. His wife and children now how less financial resources to work with. Selfish? I doubt anyone who meets Karpo or attends his Happiness Workshops would deny that he spreads riches wherever he goes.

Everywhere I went, I was inspired.

T-Rex and her whirlwind fire circus life.
Jeremy and his piano enchantment.
Bass Mechanic and his relentless delivery of music.
Hoop Charmer and her near-blinding display of inner light.

The list goes on and on – People who realized that no reward is greater than inspiring others. And there is no better way to inspire than to follow your own dreams. These dreams do not need to be careers, either. They can be love-filled meals. Or massages. Or selfless assistance of any kind.

***

On Sunday, as the sunset over the Canyon, I found myself again teary eyed. I looked around the smiles and the styles. I saw the setting at the heard the songs. And I realized that when people around you are pursuing their passion to this degree, all the old rules disintegrate. I found myself re-defining “affluence.”

What white-picket fence would I trade for THIS?

None.

In fact, as the sun set for my final night in the Oasis, I realized that ambition, itself, seemed silly. THIS is what I aspire for. THIS is the life I dream of.
How did I get here? How did I get so lucky?

I suppose when you focus on yourself… when you continually correct your path towards Love, it leads you to places like this.
And lets you meet people like these.
And have moments like Now.
I looked skyward and became dizzy with the awareness.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

-john /Halcyon
March 17, 2010

This was the fifth annual Fuente Eterno gathering, but it was the first time I was able to attend. I was delighted to find that after 13 years of Burning Man-inspired counterculture, I am still being impacted in profound ways. And more than ever, I feel like I am part of a community.

There was something that hit me as I talked to people over the weekend. (Weekend being a loose term since most people were here Thurs-Mon.) I began to notice how many people in attendance were working to inspire others. Person after person had made a change in their life so that they were dedicating some of their energy towards “lighting people up.”
This community is so important because we encourage one another to do this.

The society at large *says* that they support people following their dreams. But I’m not sure that is really true. Maybe *certain* dreams. Do you want to start a retail business or pursue your dream career in Law or Social Services? Well then teachers and parents will pat you on the pack and help you with applications.

But what if you like making dangerous sculptures? Or being a circus performer? Or just studying topics that call to you? What if you like doing things without a real plan for how you make a living with it?
The society at large would most likely consider those pursuits a waste of time…or perhaps even selfish.
But in this community, people are encouraged to RUN in whatever direction they are called.
“Following your Bliss,” no matter what it looks like, is NOT a selfish act.
I believe in “Inner-Activism.” This means that working on yourself can be the most profound way to affect the world.

“The World Can Only Change From Within.”
~Eckhart Tolle

I believed this intellectually, but was challenged on this frequently. Many people would tell me, “If you really wanted to help, you’d get from behind the computer and work a soup kitchen.”
But I have heard from dozens of people who have made profound changes in their lives inspired either partially or dramatically by me.
Not by anything I said or did – but simply by me following my path.
I hear the societal voices mocking my arrogance even as I write that. But tears well in my eyes, because I feel it so strongly to be true.

This community encourages people to fan their own flames because we know that those flames ignite sparks in others. And then each fire fuels one another in a cumulative firestorm of mutual inspiration.

***

This weekend I talked to Chris.
Chris has been helping throw Fuente for 5 years and has plans forming for grander and more magical events. But Chris in not a party “promoter” filled with slick talk. He is more like a loving parent who works tirelessly to create a safe and loving playground for the kids to enjoy. (Maybe not physically safe – those rocks are harsh! But safe for inner exploration and artistic expression.) He spends his surplus energy.
Society might see throwing wild parties as a selfish act. But if you saw people’s eyes as they left the canyon, you would know his charity was the deepest sort.

This weekend I talked to Destin.
Destin spent years studying and learning about his own sexuality. There is perhaps nothing more selfish than navel-gazing…except maybe penis-gazing. But Destin now uses this energy to do workshops and coaching. By fanning his own fire he routinely helps people break out of their binds of repression and ignite themselves.

This weekend I talked to Karpo.
Karpo left his biotech job to pursue Life Coaching. His wife and children now how less financial resources to work with. Selfish? I doubt anyone who meets Karpo or attends his Happiness Workshops would deny that he spreads riches wherever he goes.

Everywhere I went, I was inspired.

T-Rex and her whirlwind fire circus life.
Jeremy and his piano enchantment.
Bass Mechanic and his relentless delivery of music.
Hoop Charmer and her near-blinding display of inner light.

The list goes on and on – People who realized that no reward is greater than inspiring others. And there is no better way to inspire than to follow your own dreams. These dreams do not need to be careers, either. They can be love-filled meals. Or massages. Or selfless assistance of any kind.

***

On Sunday, as the sunset over the Canyon, I found myself again teary eyed. I looked around the smiles and the styles. I saw the setting at the heard the songs. And I realized that when people around you are pursuing their passion to this degree, all the old rules disintegrate. I found myself re-defining “affluence.”

What white-picket fence would I trade for THIS?

None.

In fact, as the sun set for my final night in the Oasis, I realized that ambition, itself, seemed silly. THIS is what I aspire for. THIS is the life I dream of.
How did I get here? How did I get so lucky?

I suppose when you focus on yourself… when you continually correct your path towards Love, it leads you to places like this.
And lets you meet people like these.
And have moments like Now.
I looked skyward and became dizzy with the awareness.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

-john /Halcyon
March 17, 2010

Bobby Friction does an awesome radio show on BBC Radio 1.

He interviewed me (after a night of partying HARD) for his Burning Man episode. (Intro is a skype convo with Mike Hedge)

Nature blows my mind…and leaves me in a state of awe:

I’m debating removing, “The world would rather hug you than hurt you” from the Hugmobile.

While I am deeply inspired by and intensely connected with the Burning Man festival and community, it does not represent my beliefs.
I am often tempted to identify as a “Burner,” but when I sit with that definition, it doesn’t fit.
My belief system – influenced in part by my experiences at Burning Man – has grown into one of profound love, connection, & gratitude.
But just because these ideas are strongly present on the Playa does not mean they are synonymous.
Burning Man is simply the fertile ground in which any impulse is invited to grow.
Many people find the experience opens up similar things as it has with me. But Burning Man also represents much more. LOTS of things bloom in the fertile soil. Some of it is dark. Some violent. Some snarky and mean. I love it all – but it does not represent me.
So while I itendify strongly as a “Burner” it doesn’t fit as snugly as I’d like.
**
For the past several years I have been working to define what exactly this belief system is. I have called my dabbling, “sampling dishes of the Belief Buffet.” And in the last 6 months my efforts have become more and more intense (and rewarding.) Starting with the ride home from Burning Man in the Hugmobile, Dmitry Shapiro and I have been meeting regularly to discuss our deepening awareness and gain clarity.

The ideas we discuss are not new. They have been expressed 1000 times before by many teachers.
Alan Watts
Krishnamurti
Jesus Christ
Eckart Tolle
Byron Katie
Buddha
Danger Ranger
Caleb Shikles
& many more.

What belief system embodies all of these teachers, embraces the spiritual revelry of Burning Man, bows before the miracles of the natural world, and adopts the technological tools of a connected planet?
THAT is my religion.

To ease discussion, I would like to give this evolving awareness a name. Some thoughts: “The Gift.” “Hevven” “wakeness” “a.wareness.” ???

Hopefully a name will be delivered with the same perfection as the symbol:

During a trip to Mayan ruins earlier this month, I was drawn to a symbol found on my ticket stub. It was not a traditional Mayan symbol, but had a modern + Mayan feel to it. I have had it on my desk all month – continuing to draw me in.
The more I studied it, the more I saw within it so many things we have been discussing. I made some minor modifications to integrate design elements of Burning Man & HugNation and created the symbol below.

This icon symbolizes the beliefs:

We are all made of Stardust.

The flow is Love.

While I am deeply inspired by and intensely connected with the Burning Man festival and community, it does not represent my beliefs.
I am often tempted to identify as a “Burner,” but when I sit with that definition, it doesn’t fit.
My belief system – influenced in part by my experiences at Burning Man – has grown into one of profound love, connection, & gratitude.
But just because these ideas are strongly present on the Playa does not mean they are synonymous.
Burning Man is simply the fertile ground in which any impulse is invited to grow.
Many people find the experience opens up similar things as it has with me. But Burning Man also represents much more. LOTS of things bloom in the fertile soil. Some of it is dark. Some violent. Some snarky and mean. I love it all – but it does not represent me.
So while I itendify strongly as a “Burner” it doesn’t fit as snugly as I’d like.
**
For the past several years I have been working to define what exactly this belief system is. I have called my dabbling, “sampling dishes of the Belief Buffet.” And in the last 6 months my efforts have become more and more intense (and rewarding.) Starting with the ride home from Burning Man in the Hugmobile, Dmitry Shapiro and I have been meeting regularly to discuss our deepening awareness and gain clarity.

The ideas we discuss are not new. They have been expressed 1000 times before by many teachers.
Alan Watts
Krishnamurti
Jesus Christ
Eckart Tolle
Byron Katie
Buddha
Danger Ranger
Caleb Shikles
& many more.

What belief system embodies all of these teachers, embraces the spiritual revelry of Burning Man, bows before the miracles of the natural world, and adopts the technological tools of a connected planet?
THAT is my religion.

To ease discussion, I would like to give this evolving awareness a name. Some thoughts: “The Gift.” “Hevven” “wakeness” “a.wareness.” ???

Hopefully a name will be delivered with the same perfection as the symbol:

During a trip to Mayan ruins earlier this month, I was drawn to a symbol found on my ticket stub. It was not a traditional Mayan symbol, but had a modern + Mayan feel to it. I have had it on my desk all month – continuing to draw me in.
The more I studied it, the more I saw within it so many things we have been discussing. I made some minor modifications to integrate design elements of Burning Man & HugNation and created the symbol below.

This icon symbolizes the beliefs:

We are all made of Stardust.

The flow is Love.